What do I do now that they’ve left home? Learn to cope with Empty Nest Syndrome.

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When you've spent all your time, attention and money devoted to raising children for twenty to thirty years or more, life can seem more than a little empty once those kids are grown up enough to leave home. There's actually a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and loss that's known as empty nest syndrome. Many parents have a difficult time getting used to the children being gone, and sometimes it can take awhile to adjust. Read more about the symptoms and effects of empty nest syndrome and ways to cope after sending your child to college.

When you've spent all your time, attention and money devoted to raising children for twenty to thirty years or more, life can seem more than a little empty once those kids are grown up enough to leave home. There's actually a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and loss that's known as empty nest syndrome. Many parents have a difficult time getting used to the children being gone, and sometimes it can take awhile to adjust. Read more about the symptoms and effects of empty nest syndrome and ways to cope after sending your child to college.

With college on the horizon for many students this month, many parents are going to feel the pangs of empty nest syndrome -- feelings of depression, sadness and grief when children leave their childhood homes. The feelings brought on by the departure of college-age children are similar to the feelings of depression of empty nest syndrome, when children grow up and leave home completely. For many parents, raising children has become life's main preoccupation.

Empty-nest syndrome is the name given to a psychological condition that can affect parents around the time that one or more of their children leave home. Feelings of sadness are normal at this time. It is also normal to spend time in the absent child's bedroom to feel closer to him or her.

If you are experiencing empty nest syndrome, monitor your reactions and their duration. If you are feeling that your useful life has ended, or if you are crying excessively or are so sad that you don't want to see friends or go to work, you should consider seeking professional help.

However when the time comes when these parents have to give up control, the prospect can be frightening. Some parents say that it is worse when boys go off to college, because they are more likely than girls to stop communicating with their parents.

Many believe that empty nest syndrome is more difficult for Moms than it is Dads, but both men and women experience the feeling of loss. In most cases, Mom and Dad aren't quite sure what they're supposed to be doing in life now that they're no longer raising kids. It's perfectly natural to feel a bit sad or depressed during this period, but there are also things you can both do to help yourself deal with empty nest syndrome.

First and foremost, parents should allow themselves a period of rest. When the kids first leave home for college, there is often a whirlwind of activity involved. Getting them ready for those new life experiences was a very busy period, and you may be both physically and mentally exhausted. Once you've had time to rest, relax, and enjoy your quiet time is often when things can get the most depressing. The house may start to seem too big and quiet, and you may start wondering what in the world you're supposed to do with yourself now.

The answer is to try and get active. If you have friends and family around you, try spending more time with them. Go out on dates with your spouse for instance, or organize outings, parties or get togethers for friends and family.

Also think hard about your personal likes and dislikes. Now that your children are grown and gone, it's much easier for you to take up new or old hobbies, try something different, and explore various interests. Think about when you were younger - before you settled down to have a family. What did you like to do with your free time then? Did you have dreams, goals and ambitions that had to be set aside when you started your family?

Think too, back along the last twenty to thirty years as you were raising your children. Did you ever dream about doing something else? Did you ever wish you had the time or money to devote to a specific hobby? Maybe you've always longed for a trip to an exotic land, or dreamed of writing a book you started as a teenager.

Doing something new is always fun and exciting. If you feel like you're not yet ready to make any major changes in your life or lifestyle though, think about taking small baby steps. There are plenty of hobbies that can be done right at home for instance, such as sewing, gift basket making, and scrapbooking. In fact, scrapbooking may be an excellent transition activity for you to do. You'll be able to dig out all the kids stuff you've been collecting over the years, and start to put it into some sort of organizational format that can be enjoyed for years to come.

Sources:
http://psychologytoday.com/conditions/emptynest.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/04/nyregion/04blues.html
http://www.thestarpress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080801/LIFESTYLE12/808010311/0/LIFESTYLE