Welcoming Your Student Home

Coming home for winter break can be an exciting time for both parents and students alike. No doubt you will notice some changes in your student, but the student may also notice some changes in your home as well. Here are some helpful hints from Rodney L. Johnson, director of Parent Services at George Washington University.

When students are away from home they undergo experiences which are truly self-defining. Leaving home increases your student's individuality and independence as they begin to pave their own path. For the past four months your student has been making their own decisions regarding every aspect of their life: when to eat, study, seek medical attention, socialize and sleep! We understand that when students are home, they are expected to follow the rules that guide each family and each household. However, we want to make you aware of the life changes your student may have undergone in their transition from adolescence to early adulthood.

In the first few days, your student may sleep a lot, but don't worry, they are just recovering from final exams. They use sleep as a mechanism to gradually fit back into their home routines, plus it's great to be back in their own beds! In addition to sleep, other things that many students will do when they return home is eat plenty of food and visit friends!

Here are some things we would like to make you aware of when your student arrives home for Winter Break:

1. Questions that your student may not like you asking:

a. Where are you going?
b. Who are you going with?
c. What time are you returning home?
d. Why are you sleeping so much?
e. Are you taking care of yourself?
f. Did you eat?

2. As a parent, remind your student of your expectations regarding:

a. Religious events
b. Social events
c. Family meals
d. Family chores
e. Curfews (Remember that your student does not have a curfew at college)

3. Situations that could arise with siblings:

a. Who will drive the family/student's car?
b. Who has control over the TV, phone, computer, game systems?
c. Student's room (if sibling now sleeps there)
d. Who does what daily chores?

4. Don't do everything for your student. Let them take responsibility for the things they are now handling at school:

a. Scheduling medical appointments
b. Cleaning their room
c. Personal appointments
d. Work schedule
e. Preparing meals
f. Doing laundry

Try not to remove all of the freedoms that your student has become accustomed to over the past few months. They have developed a new way of living and reverting back to the "old way" may cause stress.

5. For parents of an only child/empty-nesters:

a. We feel for you! We know your life has changed significantly since your student left the house and it will be a big adjustment for you to have them back. When they return we want to remind you to be open-minded and sensitive to their needs during this transition.

Also, remember your student has become very NOCTURNAL. They love to sleep all day, and stay up all night!

Advice we give to students:

1. Communicate with your parents and family. It is very important for both parents and students to understand the changes that have occurred not only in the students' lives but also in life at home.
2. Be considerate to your parents, siblings, and relatives (it goes a long way).
3. Remember that change is good. Let your parents and siblings know about tattoos, piercing and changed hair color before you get home. Do not go for shock value!
4. Your younger siblings and pets may respond to you differently when you return home (they may not understand why you left).
5. Understand that you will have to and should make compromises with your time (plan your time carefully with family and friends).
6. Communicate with your parents in advance if you have less than satisfactory grades to report. There is no use prolonging the inevitable. Be honest and, most importantly, take responsibility for your actions.
7. Communicate with your parents and other family members your accomplishments and growth.

In addition, we would encourage you to speak with your student about school and their accomplishments over the past semester. Your student has come a long way in only a few months. Be proud of their accomplishments. We hope that you have a wonderful and safe holiday.