Your Changing Role as a Parent

Your student is experiencing a major transition and so are you. You can manage this transition by recognizing and adjusting to the inevitable changes to your student’s life.

If you have sent another child off to college already, you know that all transitions involve expectations of what’s to come and a sense of loss for what’s ending. You and your student might feel excitement, anticipation, fear, worry, sadness, and/or loss. How can you help yourself and your student handle this transition? Open, respectful dialogue is the key. Communication will help with the transition and the evolving relationship you have with your student.

The final days of this summer are likely to be intense and pressure filled, especially if your student is coming to SOU from more than a few miles away. Taking care of last minute details and saying goodbye to friends and family is overwhelming for many. It is normal to grieve over a change of this magnitude. The grieving may even start before your student has left home, which may cause some tense moments.

We encourage you to clearly communicate your expectations and feelings regarding communication, grades, finances, relationships/dating, alcohol/drugs, etc. You are hoping your student will carry the morals and values you have instilled in them. Now is the time to trust, let go, and allow your student to spread his/her wings.

During Orientation, Registration, and Welcome events on campus we hope that you:

• Connect with other parents. Who better understands what you’re going through?
• Become familiar with SOU resources. Then, when a situation arises, instead of making a call on your student’s behalf, you can ask them if they’ve contacted appropriate SOU staff.
• Educate yourself about the normal developmental challenges and stressors that can happen in the first year of college.
• Celebrate the start of your student’s college career. Enjoy this milestone and show your pride in your student’s accomplishments (and yours too!) 

Moving On:

• Stay in touch. Every parent wants to know their student is safe but this doesn’t necessarily mean you need a daily check-in.
• Establish mutually agreed-upon expectations for communication. Keep conversations relaxed and comfortable.
• Respond positively to your student’s wide range of feelings about their future.
• Be open to the changes you see in your student-the new ideas they’re encountering and the new concepts they’re exploring.
• Understand that college is about a lot more than studying and going to class.
• Find ways to stay involved and connected in your student’s life.
• Talk about the first visit home. What rules or expectations will be in place?
• Seek support from friends and family who are or have been in a similar situation.
• Demonstrate support and encouragement to your student regularly. Trust your student to make decisions for him/herself and keep the lines of communication open.