"You and your child have been working through issues surrounding independence for years. At least once during high school, and certainly during that senior summer, your child must have declared, "You can't tell me what to do; I'm not a little kid anymore." It's true. You really can't tell your college-age child what to do. You have much less direct control, but you do still have influence, and you will continue to care deeply about how he is and whether he is safe, comfortable, and happy.